Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Wagner Morning

My husband is scared to go to the dentist. I mean really scared. The last time he had to have a cavity filled, he was put completely out, IV and everything. I think it must go back to having a bad childhood dentist.

This morning he had an appointment for a deep cleaning, and the dentist had given him medication to take last night and another medication this morning. (Anti-anxiety stuff to CALM him.)

So that meant I had to take him to the dentist for a 7:30 a.m. appointment. So I start making Addie's lunch, get both kids some breakfast and we pile in the car, all in our jammies except Matt, and take him to the dentist. I drop him off, then head back home to finish getting Addie ready for school.

Then I drop her off at school and a few minutes later, Matt texts that he is ready. Actually he texts a total of 18 times basically the same text. ''Ready.'' "Readyo. ''xup%&ryReady.'' Um, clearly he is high. Can I get sedation medication for myself?

So I pull up at the dentist, still in full pajamas, slippers and a robe. Aubrey is in her nightgown. I hadn't had time to get dressed or even brush my teeth. I text Readyo to tell him I am waiting downstairs. He texts that I have to come up. Um no, I am in my pajamas. Yes, you have to come up. OMG!

Off I go into the elevator, in full pajamas and slippers and holding my daughter in her pajamas. Man on elevator looks confused. We enter the dentist office, where the lady behind the counter tells me I have to come back into the office to discuss Matt's treatment. Mind you, I have still not brushed my teeth. And we are at a dentist office. In my pajamas. She does her routine, blah, blah, blah. The patients waiting in the office don't really know what to think?

The dentist woman talks on like it is completely appropriate for me to be in my pajamas with hair not combed and bad breath.

I get the patient into the car, and he is clearly still high. Doesn't remember sending me the ''Readyo'' texts. He passes out at home on the couch while still eating chocolate chip pumpkin bread. I take the plate away and see that he has chocolate on the side of his face and lips. Clean him up with a baby wipe.

''Am I drooling?'' he asks. Um, no. You have chocolate all over you.

I finally took my shower and brushed my teeth. Matt recovered somewhat and decided to go to work. I didn't think he should be driving yet. So if you see him on the road, steer clear. You people know his track record.



3 comments:

  1. I told you that was too funny not to share. I still laughed hysterically the second time around. Good stuff. Sure am glad I know you Wagner's.

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  2. I just about spit out my coffee!!! you are damn funny!

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  3. Your mom told me to read your blog....and I'm so glad she did! I am a stay at home mom and live in my P.J.'s so I can fully appreciate your story! Thanks for the laugh!

    Sherry

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